Your YOUNG ADULT wants to be better, do better, move on, move out, hold their own, be independent. THEY DO!
Even if they are scared and there are NO SIGNS of adult life in them.
What if they just need some privacy and dignity and independence TO BECOME independent?
Even if you don't get outside help, I can tell you a lot of ways that you are accidentally shutting them down and making them into a human brick wall who will cut off their nose to spite their...um parents.
1. Confusing and inconsistent messages about where your boundaries lie
2. Sending links to jobs and self-help advice
3. Telling them about how far along you were when you were their age and how easy it is if they would just x, y, z....
4. Manipulating them financially
5. Doing more for them than you should
6. Making idle threats about kicking them out
7. Sending mixed messages about your support and your expectations-- those often don't match up in a kid's mind
8. Counteracting what the other parent or coparent is saying to them, so you have no consistency, and they learn to play you two like a fiddle
9. Bailing them out over and over when they spend all their money on weed and Chipotle
10. Being angry or guilt-tripping them about how much you've done for them and how they aren't grateful
I can help you get clear on what you need to do as their leader to stop enabling them and help them to get a move on.
I can help them in a very real way to find out what they want and to take action.