Is This You?

Is this you? You're the nice parent.

The one who listens,

who comforts,

who puts the pieces back together,

who tries to make it all ok again

after the other parent or child in your home has another destructive episode of rage or passive-aggressive, manipulative, critical, destructive power-seeking behavior.

Do you say:

They don't mean it.

It's not your fault.

They are just stressed.

I'll talk to them.

Do you:

Allow and excuse much more than you know is prudent for the ones you're comforting to overcompensate for the parent or child who constantly or cyclically creates chaos and pain?

CONSIDER THIS, PLEASE:

You are protecting an abuser.

You are enabling a bully.

You are complicit in the pain the others are experiencing while posing as the savior and the middleman.

Harsh? Maybe so, but it's true.

Your fear of breaking away, of changing the pattern, of advocating for healthy means to handle normal life issues...your fear is a major part of perpetuating the damage.

It's going to be HARDER than staying. It's going to seem impossible even, but setting boundaries, following through, ending idle threats, creating REAL SAFETY for your family is possible and YOU ACTUALLY CAN DO THIS.

And you can even do it with LOVE and integrity.

This pattern won't resolve itself someday by magic or luck.

Your courage is the magic. Your ACTION is the magic.

I love you. I've been there and I get it and WE got this.