I have a very easy (very hard if you're trying to be a savior though) way to get your kids talking and to show up for them in a way that feels good for them so you ACTUALLY CAN offer them help when they need it.
Kids tell me they refuse help, isolate, lie, avoid, say they are ok when they are not ok at all
because they do NOT feel like their parent:
is really listening
gets it
cares about anything except their chores, room and grades
is able to understand
is able to control their own emotions
can keep it calm
can stop making everything about themselves and
what people might think of them, the kid, the family.
We ALL need this...to be heard...not judged, shamed, fixed, advised, belittled, or steamrolled with emotions.
Try it and let me know what happens!