Honey, You can tell me ANYTHING! I just want to be here for you!!!!
Then they tell us something or do some dumb little thing and we ERUPTTTTTTT!!!!!!!
We question their future viability and make a verbal powerpoint presentation including all the proof and exhibits A-G of why they WILL NOT MAKE IT into college, in the real world.
Being a safe space with CONSISTENT boundaries and an AUTHENTIC connection is how you get to actually be there for your kids.
One action I "prescribe" often is for a parent to hang out with their kid one one-on-one and to REFRAIN from the parental agenda completely. Just be a person with them and take off your mom or dad badge for a bit and see what happens.
Many kids avoid/isolate and block connection with their parents because they occur for them like fault-finding hound dogs and the kids believe they will never ever do enough or be enough so they hide out literally or figuratively and repeat their mantra, "Why bother?! I'll never please them anyway..."
Thoughts on this? When you do relax and regulate your emotions, put all the to-dos into proper perspective and laugh with your kid, does it help?